The Obedient Wife

There was a man who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money.

Just before he died, he said to his wife...'When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me.'

And so he got his wife to promise him, with all of her heart, that when he died, she would put all of the money into the casket with him.

Well, he died He was stretched out in the casket, his wi fe was sitting there - dressed in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, and just! before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said,

'Wait just a moment!'
She had a small metal box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and they rolled it away. So her friend said,

'Girl, I know you were not foolish enough to put all that money in there with your husband.'

The loyal wife replied, 'Listen, I'm ! a Christian; I cannot go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money into the casket with him.'

You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!?!?!?'

'I sure did,' said the wife. 'I got it all together, put it into my account, and wrote him a check.... If he can cash it, then he can spend it.'

Coffee as Source of Soluble Fiber

Coffee is a surprising source of soluble dietary fiber, but a U.S. newsletter advises it's not the only one.

Soluble fiber may help lower Low Density Lipoprotein, LDL, or "bad" cholesterol and blood sugar, the Mayo Clinic Health Letter reports.

Fiber comes in two forms -- soluble fiber, which dissolves in water to form a gel-like material and comes from beans, some fruits and even coffee, and insoluble fiber, which doesn't dissolve in water and passes through the digestive system largely unchanged. Sources of insoluble fiber are cereals, wheat bran, and the stalks and peels of fruits and vegetables, the American Dietetic Association says.

The American Dietetic Association recommends the daily allowance of dietary fiber for men is 30 to 38 grams per day and for women, 21 to 25 grams.

A study, published in the Journal of Agricultural and Food Chemistry, found one cup of coffee per day contains up to 1.8 grams of soluble fiber.

The Mayo Clinic Health Letter says other good sources of soluble fiber include beans, fruits, berries, vegetables and oatmeal.

Eat Slowly

Slow Down and Enjoy a Slimmer Waistline

Eat slowly and you'll consume less and enjoy your meal more.

Researchers at the University of Rhode Island in the US have new scientific data to back up this long-touted theory.

In their study, 30 women were told to eat a huge plate of food as quickly as possible until they felt full, without pausing between bites. ON a return visit, they were instructed to take smaller bites, pause often and to chew each mouthful 15 to 20 times.

It seems eating fast and furiously impacted both on meal satisfaction and in kilojoules. When eating quickly, the women consumed 2750kJ in nine minutes, compared to an average of 2324kJ in about 29 minutes when eating slowly. They also had a greater feeling of satiety.

Spread over three meals a day, the difference will really add up.


Source: Reader's Digest

Life Explained

On the first day, God created the dog and said:

"Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said: "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"

So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said:

"Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I 'll give you a twenty-year life span"

The monkey said: "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"

And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said:

"You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family For

This, I will give you a life span of sixty Years."

The cow said: "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man and said:

"Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."

But man said: "Only twenty years ? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the

Ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."

So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves.

For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family.

For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.

And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark.

Of Men and English

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that write rs write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, i n which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

Lastly, why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?